Friday, November 5th, 2004
17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash
it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python,
“always look on the bright side of life!” There IS
some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for
president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting
president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for
Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%),
proving once again that your parents are always wrong
and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans
still think the country is headed in the wrong
direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting
(51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is
doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure
this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)


5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof
60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do
their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme
Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the
Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch
this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire
Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6
of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast!
Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the
fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We
can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more
show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a
nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A
great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio
State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.


8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50
years, America will no longer have a white majority.
Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten
years old and reading this, your golden years will be
truly golden and you will be well cared for in your
old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on
Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank
God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't
have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as
members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia
McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more
blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our
candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in
Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want
them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked
up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's
elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state
legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate),
Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of
44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1
chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control
47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1
chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still
undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no
greater moment than the one he's having this week.
It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and,
more significantly, he's just not going to want to do
all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll
be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've
already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll
treat the next four years like a permanent Friday,
spending even more time at the ranch or in
Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already
proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our
ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take
this country down a very dark road, it is also just as
likely that either of the following two scenarios will
happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to
the Christian conservatives again to get elected,
someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend
these last four years building "a legacy" so that
history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus
he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing
agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant --
and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of
such major proportions that even his own party will
have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200
million of them of voting age. We only lost by three
and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means
we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If
you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal
line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards,
would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the
ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to
start the next down on the three yard line? Of course
not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are
coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million
Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1
Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total
number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I,
Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry
than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it
should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the
first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an
out-and-out liberal. The country has always been
filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS
news is that so many people have shifted toward a
Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which
means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who
brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real
truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better
that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in
2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me
yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me,
'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country
-- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again
tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore

karlos